Can someone sustain next to the first night sentence of my personal statement please? For LAW?

i currently have

My interest in Law started beside participation in class debate. In my community, I have seen injustice and wrongdoing man committed .

There is no flow in it. its dull and has no devotion can someone think of something BETTER?

Hi, you could add more interest by using details and examples. E.g, when did your interest start, e.g. 'My interest contained by Law started in 2009, when I participated contained by class debates. These debates consisted of miscellaneous subjects, such as (insert the subjects) ' Then state what sort of community you live in, e.g. lacking employment, or closeknit etc and what sort of wrongdoing. Then state why is this applicable to your interest within law, e.g. the injustice inspired you to advocate for family who could not speak on their own behalf etc.
Lead with a story. What injustice did you see? What wrongdoing was committed?

For example - When I be 17 I saw... This struck me as fundamentally wrong and led to my interest in class debate.

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